Archive for January, 2006
Cristin eats jelly beans; much time is wasted due to lack of energy
31 January 2006In the name of science, I have dutifully recorded this morning’s experience with Jelly Belly’s Sport Energy Beans. Serving size is 14 but my packet came with 15. They are electric green in color and slightly larger than regular jelly bellies. Packet instructs me to “Energize with one package before activity. Use additional beans as [...]
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31 January 2006My floor is getting all new furniture for the conference room, which meant I got to have wheeley chair races in the hallway at 8:30am today. I’m really worried that my day has peaked.
Eureka!
30 January 2006It’s such a great day and age in which we live. They have thought of everything. Officially. I was grocery shopping this weekend and noticed a clip strip near the checkout counter that had Jelly Belly Sport Beans– jelly beans for performance athletes. I’m assuming that these do something other than just give you a [...]
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, fat man
30 January 2006Piazza signs with Padres
Be Mine, the sequel
30 January 2006More news from Allison on the SweetTart Heart question: Um, in my spare time I was researching the Sweethearts conversation hearts and their website says that they put on new sayings each year (this year’s include call home, home run, and go home. Go home? I don’t want to get that on V Day). Anyway, [...]
Recent email from my copirate in crime
30 January 2006From : Allison Sent : Sunday, January 29, 2006 8:45 PM To : Cristin Subject : Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite aspect of computational linguistics? A: PARRRsing sentences. Q: Of which concept shared by Jungian psychology and Northrop Frye’s literary theory are pirates especially fond? A: ARRRchetype. Q: Of all Richard [...]
Because I will not rest until no lover of bad television is left with unanswered questions about why DVRs break
25 January 2006Amy vs. The Cable Guy, Round 3: Mark: How may I help you? Amy: So, the guide button on the cable box that was installed on Saturday isn’t working. This is our second box; the problem is clearly not on our side. Mark: Ok, let me check something…ok. You don’t have digital cable. Without digital [...]
I love you just as you are, Billy
25 January 2006Just when I thought there would be no funny today, my boss asks me to take care of getting some of our more famous book jackets blown up so that we can have them framed and make our office look like someplace where they *might* possibly create fun and inviting children’s books instead of, say, [...]
I have hired someone else to bring the funny today.
25 January 2006Meet my friend Marg. She is the keeper of a bachelor’s degree from a fine institution, and enjoys Su Doku, telling sorority stories, conveying information in list form, managing to live under the same roof as her family and the love of her life, drunk bowling, book clubs, and pop culture. She is going to [...]
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
24 January 2006I will soon be devoting a lot of time to Reasons Why 24 Is The Best Show On Television, a list which I SWEAR will be totally different from everyone else’s list of the same name because mine with go something like this : Chloe; Edgar being in love with Chloe; Chloe letting her emotions [...]