Don’t Stop Believin’
21 December 2006Despite being produced by and born among a bunch of Crazy Christians, I have never been to mass on Christmas day. Not once. My family had the best possible out on Christmas– we had Father Bob, my great uncle, who started in the seminary when he was 12 was a man of God his whole life and who, happily, would say Catholic mass for us in our living room every Christmas morning. This really had something for everyone– my dad didn’t have to complain about Church parking amongst “those people” who only show up for Dec 25th and Easter, my brother was happy because we got to eat shrimp afterwards, and everyone under the age of 30 was happy because it usually only took 20 minutes, and then we could get back to drinking in the middle of the afternoon. This year we said goodbye to Father Bob (at a Hooters restaurant), and I’m taking a stand right now against going to mass on Christmas. I think we all get a by this year. If they want me to celebrate, I will happily go to Hooters and sing O Holy Night into a bucket of buffalo wings.
Father Bob was taxed with the daunting job of producing christmas presents for all 10 of his brother Joe’s grandkids. During one of those years where I Had No Shame and really hadn’t learned the meaning of true embarrassment, Cousin Erin and Cousin Janelle and I spent a lot of time dressing up and choreographing lip synching routines that we would perform for our drunk relatives as Christmas night wore on. We called ourselves the Pointless Sisters without realizing how truly accurate that moniker really was. On the Christmas that followed our most impressive medley, Father Bob got us all a joint gift for the first time– a karaoke machine. Had I actually been singing and not just mouthing the words, I’m sure he would have rethought it. I cannot sing. At all. This somehow doesn’t keep me from turning down opportunities to karaoke, particularly when Katie and Ali are organzing private room karaoke and they come equipt with cups that say Happy Birthday Baby Jesus.
Being in the first wave of people to arrive at the den of karaoke we were treated to The Rules by the karaoke master at the front desk. Father Bob’s only rule for the karaoke machine was “Share.” At iBop, the rules included “If you’re going to throw up, do it in the toilet and NOT the sink.” Any night that starts out like that is bound for awesomeness.
I did a lot of terrible renditions of fantastic songs (“I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That” with Maggie, “To Be With You” with Anna) while other people were doing fantastic renditions of fantastic songs. Maggie spotted the TV theme songs section of the karaoke offerings and immediately jabbed in the number for “The Nanny” and rocked the face off of that song. I’ve always known that I was wildly in love with Maggie, and I was pretty sure that I was also wildly in love with Webmaster Kyle (Maggie’s man), but seeing them do karaoke solidified for me that I had, in fact, encountered the rare couple that is made of equal parts of amazingness. In case you need proof, Maggie sang Golddigger and the theme to The Nanny and Kyle sang Piano Man and Free Fallin’. Thank god I am friends with them, and not just because I couldn’t have rejiggered my blog or kept up on Regan gossip alone.
Then Jordan came and we did our old standby (Bon Jovi’s “Always) and a few favorite (“Say It Ain’t So” by Weezer) and everyone rejoiced.
In all of these pictures, I am (A) wearing a t shirt with a picture of Santa on it that says Don’t Stop Believin’ and (B) Holding a tall boy of Bud Light. In some of the pictures of Jordan and I, he is holding a 40 of Heineken, and the huge drinks kind of make us look like we might be midgets. Which would be magical, if only for a night.
Speaking of magical– here’s us doing the title song.
3 Responses to “Don’t Stop Believin’”
December 21st, 2006 at 11:14 am
The huge drinks is the opposite of the Giant Party your boyfie threw. Man, that was an amazing concept.
December 21st, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Awwwww, thanks. That was some serious, serious fun. I think our rendition of “I Would Do Anything For Love” was properly dramatic. It’s not our fault Meatloaf made the song so long. Also, my jewish dad is making us all — including my mom, and they’re divorced — go to church on Christmas Eve so we can hear the choir. Seriously.
December 27th, 2006 at 9:06 am
This is not related to your very funny post, but I don’t have your email address.
Remember when you wanted to know about the 27 books I bought?
I’ve read about 5 now..and Peter and the Starcatchers and Dealing with Dragons are by far my favorites so far.
Spirit Line and Lottery Rose are ok, but a little simple.
If you want more details I can provide, drop me an email…but the first two I’d totally recomend reading..plus they’re part of a series, yay!