Link via Carolyn– available at JC Penny! Want!

However, if there’s some opportunity to see the Popemobile when it does not contain someone who genuinely believes gay people don’t go to heaven, I would be all over that. Because, let’s be honest, this is a really sweet ride:

Though I do miss the older, domed models, that have always reminded me of the board game Trouble, to the point where I wind up singing the “you can pop a lot of trouble on the pop-a-matic bubble!” commercial jingle every time I see the pope, or anyone in a funny hat.

A balloon sculpture of The Last Supper.

via my Aunt K!

1. I saw Golden Compass. It’s fine. I’m happy I saw it and didn’t take Jordan’s suggestion to “use that $12 to buy a hammer and hit yourself on the head with it.” Lyra’s a little ass-kicker and that made me happy. Some other things made me slightly less happy.

2. I picked a gift wrapping theme for this Christmas. I know, you were all worried. There are tiny jingle balls involved.

3. I mailed (most of) my Christmas cards. You should get yours by Friday, depending on how close to the 10128 you live and how much I actually like you. If you’re related to me, yours might be coming later, I had to order an additional set and I’m still waiting for those ones. Please do not yell at me (AUNT PATTI) the way you did last year. Pirates for everyone!

4. I got new glove-mittens. I am 400% happier than I was when I had no glove-mittens in my life.

5. I’ve decided to start phrasing all of my compliments as facts instead of opinions, ie “That’s a great dress” and not “I like your dress.” It’s fun because you get to feel authoritative. I suggest everyone tries it.

6. My mom and I made plans to go see the Rockettes on Saturday. Woo!

The amount of stress I put on myself regarding my Christmas cards is completely ludicrous and useless (also, when I first typed that sentence, I spelled it “ludacris.” As in, watch out for the medallion my diamonds are wreckless/ feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace). Ever since ‘05, things have never been the same. The second those cards came in, my complete joy was haunted by a nagging fear that I’d never be able to top that, something I’ve come to (almost) accept over the last few years. Even before pirating became a Christmas issue, I put way too much pressure on myself regarding these stupid things– it takes me weeks to get them done, because I’m trying to write something MEANINGFUL in all of them. Which generally shakes out to be “Sorry I was so hammered at your wedding,” but still. At least it’s personalized. This also means that when you send me a holiday card where you just write my name on the top, draw a little heart on the bottom and then sign your name, I will be incredibly angry at you. Go big or go home, people. It’s effing Christmas, for christs sake.

So this is me, underselling the Stickles Christmas Card Experience 2007. It’s still fun, there’s still pirates, and you can do a fun scavenger hunt that involves picking the following items out of the background: 3 pictures of Kristin Bell, 4 New York Times Best Sellers, a photo booth strip of pictures in which I am in no way intoxicated after a kickball party, and a tape holder shaped like a triceratops (triceratape, if you will). I am telling you right now that the #1 best way to be permanently barred from my christmas card list is to say “I liked the subway one better.” We all liked the subway one better. It’s time to move on. The subway one is that one boyfriend who was awesome and your whole family loved him until you either accidentally cheated on him or made some comment about how cute your kids were going to be that sent him running for the hills and left you having to spend the next few years listening to “Remember That Guy? He was great. I liked him a lot.” Listen, he’s not coming back. It’s time to embrace pirate christmas card mediocrity.

via Aunt K.